chawin basu bye bye phoebe

June 24th.

The opening of the first lotus flower, this season at our pond.


Lotus bloom of Chawin Basu.  As the flower ages, the pink on the tips fades away to all white.  The fragrance is indescribable. The lotus commands a certain reverence over the pond.

 You can feel the spiritual beauty of nature when in their presence.

The ruffled leaves on another lotus, Charles Thomas; gently dances in a breeze.


 That same day the Phoebe family that nests each year on our front porch took flight with the fledglings.


 There remains a quiet nest.

And on this day, our cottage family took flight too.

I don’t know if the destination changed, but the journey certainly has.

Mother Cottage has gone to live at a memory care facility.

Leading up to this point has been one of the most heart wrenching experiences.  Even though this has been a difficult decision, I feel it is the right one.

I respect my father for all of his years of care giving, and for knowing when to let go, and let professionals take over and so that the family could move forward.


I received lovely flowers from a friend with a beautiful heart.

It is well with my soul.

See you later, Bye!


27 thoughts on “chawin basu bye bye phoebe

    • Linda – it is all about the pond with the lotus – at least right now – LOL. Thank you, so hard to make these changes, even when we know it is for the best. So much adjusting.


  1. So glad to have found you here. It’s a beautiful website and all your work and stories are too. Hope that you are doing well.


  2. I love you girlfriend. Your dad is very brave and strong. Give him a big hug from me and may you all venture on, enjoy life, and always love unconditionally.


  3. You have all done beyond your best. Mother Cottage has been so blessed with all of your love. Be at peace. Hugs to all of you.


  4. Just want you to know that I understand the process of moving a mother into a care facility. With my mom she first moved into Assisted Living, then their care center, then their Memory Care Unit when it opened…all over a period of about six years and she’s been in the MCU about a year. Obviously she has changed dramatically over those years, with Alzheimer’s. She is now at a place where she lives in the moment, is mostly happy, or at least content, and I thank God she still knows me as her “baby” daughter, Sara. The really difficult years have passed….her grief over what she was losing, her fears of “lost children” and other fearful situations in her mind, her great confusion. etc. I’m sure you know that it is just agonizing to watch and experience with her. If you ever want someone to “chat” with that understands by experience, please do let me know. You continue to be in my thoughts and I hope your health is continuing to swing in the right direction. Peace to your heart


    • Sara – I so appreciate your honesty and sharing that you too understand and have been through these difficult times with your mom. I know I am not alone, I know many many people have and will go through this. Each of us feels the pain and heartbreak, and sharing is sometimes comforting. Right now it is an emotional roller coaster with so many ups and downs. I know mom is getting the care she really needs, and that is the best thing. I have to keep holding on to that thought and not allow myself to wander into deeper bleak thoughts. xo


      • Just a little something extra to share that has helped me. While it is good to avoid darker thoughts, I did find that I needed to grieve the parts of my mom that were disappearing. There have been many stages along the way. The most recent may sound odd to you, but maybe not. All my life my mom has had a cap on one of her front upper teeth. It’s not very noticeable so I didn’t think about it much, But, a couple of weeks ago that cap fell off, leaving a little stub of a tooth. Okay, so it’s not that big of deal in the whole big picture. But, my mom has always had a most beautiful smile, and it’s part of her that reached out to everyone she met. It was part of how she’s connected with people and let them know she cared. We’ve lost so much of her, but her smile has always remained and we often take photos together with her so that we all will have them after she’s gone. So, her smile still holds all the warmth it always has, but it really changes those photos. We really cannot have it fixed…too traumatic for her to go through that. A few years ago I had to take her to the ENT to get wax cleaned out of her ears because she couldn’t hear. It was horrible for her and she was screaming at the doctor, etc. So not like her. Not that she remembers that, but I just couldn’t put her through another experience like that. And really, what for? It would only be for us, her family, and that’s not right. We’ll hold tightly to the photos we do have with her. And we’ll love her and enjoy all the time we have with her. Most important is our being there for her and that’s what we do. Still, had to grieve that one, too. So much better than shoving it aside because that would mean the feelings would just build up. Better to grieve and let it go and enjoy what we still have. Peace to your heart.


  5. I’m sorry, Kim. It did help me to read these comments, because my parents are on the edge of a big change, and I am scared. I have lots of emotions right now-some of them conflicting. Enough about me, I’m sorry…Kim-what a grand wonderful dad you have. To love that way is to lay your own interests and needs down-it’s something truly beautiful.


    • Debra – boy is that right, lots of scary emotions and so many conflicts. I play all those up and down feelings in my mind over and over again, tormenting myself. The nights are the worst. My dad has shoulder unbelievable pain in the 14 years he has cared for her – he is my hero. I send my heart to you, as you go through these difficult times with your parents. Simply put it isn’t easy. Hugs Kim


  6. Kim your lotus flower is beautiful. I too can appreciate how difficult it must for you all to move Mother Cottage. My Dad suffered with dementia many years after my Mum had died. It was hard for us too. Your family are in my thoughts. Sarah x


    • Sarah – so many of us walk this path, we are not alone, yet we all feel the pain as though we are. There isn’t any easy answer, yet we survive. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. xo


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