I heard the cry from Daisy and quickly ran outside to see what was happening. There I found great big foxy-loxy with a grip on my dear sweet Daisy.
A cloud of golden feathers drifted to the ground as I was running towards the fox and Daisy. The fox hesitated for a second, uncertain which direction to turn as the crazy screaming lady ran towards him. It only took that second for Daisy to wiggle free and come running to me. I chased the fox down into the woods screaming and flailing my arms – I know – scary, huh.
Daisy is minus what looks to be a million feathers, but will live to tell the tale.
There is so much nature unfolding so quickly before our eyes, it’s like a merry-go-round spinning.
Lilac blossoms are opening and the leaves are unfurling. Dogwood blooms are just starting to pop. That very special spring green is starting to cover every inch. The grass is starting to green, and spring onions scent the air. My favorite little purple violets are like little treasures tucked all through the grass. As the sun comes up, that green, glows as the light rises it gives us the most incredible mornings, feelings of hopeful anticipation, an awakening. It is my favorite time to walk around our little slice of heaven. Dandelions are blooming everywhere and later I will make a thousand new wishes on them. I open all the coops and the girls and Wyatt scurry through the doors with what seems an extra bit of urgency to get out and about discovering just that one special blade of green grass that popped up overnight.
Oh, the butterflies, swallowtail everywhere, and buzzing from the honey bees is like an orchestra. The hummers are back and are delightfully entertaining.
I started writing this post a few weeks, ago but then life got in the way and somehow I never finished.
I’ve been away from blogging land, trying to process some difficult aspects of life.
I’m not a talker and conversations are hard for me, even those in writing, even with people I know and love. When things in my life get overwhelming, I get especially quiet. I seem to need quiet and downtime more than the average person.
There are some things in my life that are broken and need fixing. There are some things in my life that no longer serve a good purpose. I’ve known these truths for some time. I hate change. I like things to remain as I know them and even if they aren’t perfect they are comfortable. That makes me feel safe. However, I realize that doing the same old thing and expecting different results is crazy – as the saying goes. I’m trying to process changes that I need to make and trying to take a leap of faith into a new life while honoring my past and embracing my future.
Changes don’t happen overnight. Figuring out new goals, figuring out what works what doesn’t and how to move forward – ugh so much that makes me squirm in un-comfortableness.
Please know that Mr. Cottage and I are very deeply in love and our relationship is fine.
There is this little glimmer of light that I see every now and again that makes me know I’m on a new path and everything will be okay. But mostly, I’m just overwhelmed these days.
“The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.” – Thales
And Then This Happened.
It would seem to be serendipity, that recently I came across a box full of my old photographs from my childhood, many from time spent with my cousins. Growing up I didn’t get to see my cousins but once, sometimes twice a year; as my family lived in Virginia and all my cousins lived in Pennsylvania. Time spent with them was the best. That box of old photos brought back so many good times. There were photos of my cousin, Kyle. He was like a little brother I never had. I thought to myself, I need to have a talk with him and catch up and say some things to him that I should have said to him a long time ago.
That never happened. Within days of finding that box of photos, he was gone. Just like that.
Kyle passed away suddenly just a few days before Easter. He was only 53 years old. He was a former Marine and a police officer. He was as tough as a soldier could be and dedicated to helping his community. He was also a great big Teddy Bear.
Kyle was shot in the line of duty over 15 years ago and paralyzed. The trial that took place after his shooting, became a high-profile case and now his death has brought all the anxiety and stress and so much sadness all over again. There are news articles from all over about his shooting and subsequent death. He was greatly respected and liked by those that he worked with, and those that knew him. Kyle was a police officer with the Montgomery Maryland policed department at the time of his shooting. The governor has ordered state and US flags to fly half-staff in the state of Maryland until his interment in June. Condolences have poured in from around the country.
I believe the term hero is used maybe too loosely, or not often enough for the right reasons.
That goofy kid that I had so much fun playing with, grew into an amazing person. My little cousin was a hero to me. He lived the last 15 years in constant pain with many complications as a result of the paralysis, eventually undergoing amputation. He lived those years with dignity and strength, which I have no idea how he achieved. He found humor at times when I would have fallen to pieces and he gave so many people courage to fight their own battles.
There are things I should have said to him that I did not, and that is on me. There is no do-over.
That’s all for today.