the greening

I heard the cry from Daisy and quickly ran outside to see what was happening.  There I found great big foxy-loxy with a grip on my dear sweet Daisy.

A cloud of golden feathers drifted to the ground as I was running towards the fox and Daisy.  The fox hesitated for a second, uncertain which direction to turn as the crazy screaming lady ran towards him.  It only took that second for Daisy to wiggle free and come running to me.  I chased the fox down into the woods screaming and flailing my arms – I know – scary, huh.

Daisy is minus what looks to be a million feathers, but will live to tell the tale.

There is so much nature unfolding so quickly before our eyes, it’s like a merry-go-round spinning.

Lilac blossoms are opening and the leaves are unfurling.  Dogwood blooms are just starting to pop.  That very special spring green is starting to cover every inch. The grass is starting to green, and spring onions scent the air. My favorite little purple violets are like little treasures tucked all through the grass.  As the sun comes up, that green, glows as the light rises it gives us the most incredible mornings, feelings of hopeful anticipation, an awakening.  It is my favorite time to walk around our little slice of heaven. Dandelions are blooming everywhere and later I will make a thousand new wishes on them.  I open all the coops and the girls and Wyatt scurry through the doors with what seems an extra bit of urgency to get out and about discovering just that one special blade of green grass that popped up overnight.

Oh, the butterflies, swallowtail everywhere, and buzzing from the honey bees is like an orchestra. The hummers are back and are delightfully entertaining.

I started writing this post a few weeks, ago but then life got in the way and somehow I never finished.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve been away from blogging land, trying to process some difficult aspects of life.

I’m not a talker and conversations are hard for me, even those in writing, even with people I know and love. When things in my life get overwhelming, I get especially quiet. I seem to need quiet and downtime more than the average person. 

There are some things in my life that are broken and need fixing.  There are some things in my life that no longer serve a good purpose.  I’ve known these truths for some time.  I hate change.  I like things to remain as I know them and even if they aren’t perfect they are comfortable. That makes me feel safe. However, I realize that doing the same old thing and expecting different results is crazy  – as the saying goes.  I’m trying to process changes that I need to make and trying to take a leap of faith into a new life while honoring my past and embracing my future.

Changes don’t happen overnight.  Figuring out new goals, figuring out what works what doesn’t and how to move forward – ugh so much that makes me squirm in un-comfortableness.

  Please know that Mr. Cottage and I are very deeply in love and our relationship is fine.

There is this little glimmer of light that I see every now and again that makes me know I’m on a new path and everything will be okay.  But mostly, I’m just overwhelmed these days.

“The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.” – Thales

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And Then This Happened.

It would seem to be serendipity, that recently I came across a box full of my old photographs from my childhood, many from time spent with my cousins. Growing up I didn’t get to see my cousins but once, sometimes twice a year; as my family lived in Virginia and all my cousins lived in Pennsylvania. Time spent with them was the best.   That box of old photos brought back so many good times. There were photos of my cousin, Kyle. He was like a little brother I never had. I thought to myself, I need to have a talk with him and catch up and say some things to him that I should have said to him a long time ago.

That never happened.  Within days of finding that box of photos, he was gone.  Just like that.

Kyle passed away suddenly just a few days before Easter. He was only 53 years old. He was a former Marine and a police officer. He was as tough as a soldier could be and dedicated to helping his community. He was also a great big Teddy Bear.

Kyle was shot in the line of duty over 15 years ago and paralyzed. The trial that took place after his shooting, became a high-profile case and now his death has brought all the anxiety and stress and so much sadness all over again. There are news articles from all over about his shooting and subsequent death. He was greatly respected and liked by those that he worked with, and those that knew him. Kyle was a police officer with the Montgomery Maryland policed department at the time of his shooting.  The governor has ordered state and US flags to fly half-staff in the state of Maryland until his interment in June. Condolences have poured in from around the country.

I believe the term hero is used maybe too loosely, or not often enough for the right reasons.

That goofy kid that I had so much fun playing with, grew into an amazing person. My little cousin was a hero to me. He lived the last 15 years in constant pain with many complications as a result of the paralysis, eventually undergoing amputation. He lived those years with dignity and strength, which I have no idea how he achieved. He found humor at times when I would have fallen to pieces and he gave so many people courage to fight their own battles.

There are things I should have said to him that I did not, and that is on me. There is no do-over.

That’s all for today.

xo Kim

 

 

11 thoughts on “the greening

  1. Your photos are beautiful. I am glad that spring is finally coming to your home.I am also happy to hear that you saved Miss Daisy from the fox. This season for you of overwhelm and unstable footing will pass and you will feel more certain again and pass to a new season. Like the butterfly and the bloom quotes, the change is painful, but it will lead to something new (and maybe better).

    I am sorry for your loss. I am sending love your way and I believe that he is starting a new season too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Kim, I’ve missed your writing and so happy you are back. Loved your pictures of Spring in all its glory. I had only one hummer visit us this winter in Fl. , and now he’s found his way to your feeder, so glad. I’m sorry you’ve had so much sadness, but want you to know your strength shines through, and that is helping me in a difficult time. Life brings highs and lows, that is for sure; and we have to remember our angels are always with us. And they bring peace.

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  2. I have also missed your writing and lovely photos, and am happy to see you back.
    I’m glad you were able to save Miss Daisy from the fox. When I see pics of your lovely ladies making themselves at home wherever, I’m reminded how on the tv show Green Acres, Lisa Douglas named all her chickens, and how when she wanted eggs for breakfast, all she has to do was ask them nicely. 😊
    I’m sorry for the loss of your cousin…he sounds like an amazing person.
    And I hope you work through you difficulties soon. Take care…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Kim – I gasped when Daisy and the fox tangled and then rejoiced when you came to the rescue and only feathers were lost. I enjoyed your Spring-y pictures, the beautiful blooms, Mr. Cottage working hard, and the chickens and your pooch enjoying the yard on a sunny day. That delightful little hummer made me smile. I know I could smell the sunshine and fresh air after you brought the quilts into the house after hanging them to air out on the railing. I share your pain for your loss – what a tough year for you in so many ways Kim. I want to say that I remember hearing the story of your cousin Kyle’s passing in the news, as I recall the death being so many years after the injury. But how could that be – I imagine it was a human interest story that made it to the CBS radio news. Perhaps it was another poor police officer who had a similar fate – at any rate, my sympathies go out to you and your family. Don’t let the fact that you meant to get in touch with Kyle, and did not, niggle at your brain Kim. I am sure he felt those vibes of you thinking about him. Take good care.

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  4. Sometimes when I am worried too much about the future or what to do about something, I think of the words and story behind the Beatles song, “Let it Be”. It always seems to calm me.

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  5. Dear, sweet Kim,
    So many thoughts are swirling after reading this… the fragility of life, most of all. Poor Daisy, thank goodness you were able to intervene and she will be okay… and then the segue to the second part… it was heartbreaking to read about this fine man and the tragedy that befell him. He was a hero. If only our heroes would not have to suffer and often die from their own actions of selflessness and courage. If only… those two words can haunt the mind so easily, but need to be vanquished, because they make it impossible to heal and move forward. I hope you will be able to find more rays of sunshine to follow, and will eventually find yourself standing in a pool of warmth and happiness. xoxo

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  6. Kim – When you are out among your flowers, lift up your voice and tell Kyle how much he meant to you. Just in case our loved ones can hear us on the other side. Hope you work out all the things that are overwhelming you. I’ve kinda been thinking about letting my blog go. Can’t really afford the expense of it on this side of WordPress and my readership numbers hardly warrant my effort. I’m in the last year of my hosting with a particular company so I’ve got time to mull it. I loved the photo of the 2 chickens against the dark green background and airing the quilts on the deck.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Regret is a terrible thing. We know in our heads we need to do this or that but we let “life” or just our fears get in the way of doing whatever it is we want or need to do, then beat ourselves up for putting it off (at least I do). I tell myself life can be tough sometimes and we just need to give ourselves permission to fall short once in awhile. Sometimes it helps snd sometimes I just need to feel whatever it is I’m feeling before I can move on. I hope you feel better soon and find the resolution you need to move on.

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  8. Your Virginia spring photographs show the miracle of rebirth and beauty. Oh how I miss the Commonwealth! You are a hero for chasing down a chicken-stealing fox and you painted a vivid picture of the encounter. Just surprised you don’t lose more chickens to hawks and fox and other critters.You are so connected to the natural world and I hope you can find some healing solace in the reawakening that Mother Nature provides for all of us.

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